Background. I am in my 30’s Male, USA. Grew up Catholic been an Atheist since 16. Before typing my story I thought I may have been possessed by one Jinn. As I was typing this and recalling my Ayahucasa retreat. I now believe in the possibility that maybe there were more and they were leaving for good. I honestly don’t know. I am still processing this. My plan is to go to a Mosque and find out what someone thinks and help me make sense of what happened to me. I am welcome to hearing anyone opinion as I am clueless.
By the way, I curse a lot.
Since April I have been looking into Islam. I’ve watched a shit ton of videos on youtube and have been slowly digesting those videos. I started at night, listening to Arabic singing of the Quran to fall asleep to. I am not a Muslim nor can I understand or speak Arabic. I feel a smooth sense of peace and would even say “Allah Akbar” several times at night right before passing out while the singing was playing.
Sometime In between June I noticed while falling asleep I would twitch falling asleep, twitch awake and thought nothing of it because I used to do it years ago and figure my weird twitch came back because of my diet. Another night I twitched awake but this time I twitched my head from a 45 degree angle to 90 degrees in shock while laying on my side. I laid there and asked myself what the fuck and thought what is it about playing songs from the Quran that’s making me do this. I deduced that maybe It was the call to prayer I was playing that night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iFUAhZoLJQ I have been wanting to pray randomly throughout those days and weeks since I started watching Islamic content. Maybe my body was twitching to get up and pray I thought. I have been praying as the Muslims do. I am 100% sure I am doing it absolutely wrong lol but the first time I did it was amazing. I didn’t even noticed but I was standing swaying in place until I opened my eyes. I slept like a baby that night.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I played a 10 hour video of the Quran. At this point, I already believed in Allah but now the concept of Angels. I never really looked into any Jinn stuff, didn’t care, very dismissive of it. Remember, I have JUST opened my mind to Allah and I still have some beliefs to update and cognitive dissonance to resolve in my journey.
Any Muslim videos of Jinns, I would ignore, roll my eyes or scoff at as I use to when It came to my secular belief in a God. That night I woke at 4am because my alarm went off. That day, I was working at 8am instead of 5am. I forgot to disable the 4am alarm, let the Quran continue playing and fell back asleep. At least I tried to.
I twitched again. This time, it felt stronger. I opened my eyes and thought okay whatever. Closed them to go back to sleep. The urge to twitch again was stronger. I twitched a couple times and started moving uncomfortably. I stopped it, tried to understand what is happening and told myself I’ll just let it happen next time. Next round comes, I start twitching and convulsing. I still won’t accept what is going on as I am letting it happen but when I stopped. The thought of Jinns inundated my mind. I thought to myself, some fucker is inside of me.
Back in 2020, I went to an Ayahuasca retreat. I won’t make this too long to shorten this but at the day time ceremony. After my dose, I found myself talking to myself. I would convulsively shake as if I was constipated and Jesters as it’s called were talking through me. They would come, talk about human evolution mostly, but also some random stuff that I don’t remember. The conversation, if you were to watch me was me talking to myself was about psychology, evolution, sexual dynamics, tribal behavior etc. Then they would leave. I had a rotation of these Jesters come in and out of me. I had a more concentrated convulsive shake when they came. I had at least two consistent Jesters frequent me. When they left, I exhaled. That told me they were gone. It only lasted for a few seconds though to maybe a minute tops before another came.
I thought nothing of the Jesters, after my trip. I’ve told a small hand full of people about it but other than that. Left it alone but the experience led me to be spiritual but not religious which ironically is one of the two fastest growing religions. The other is Islam.
I bring up my Ayahuasca trip because now the feeling I had when a Jester came was the same feeling I would feel when I was about to convulse in my sleep. So, I let it happen again but this time I let it run its course for sometime. Now, I am twitching, moving all over in my bed making sounds. I get to the point where as I described when a Jester would come but I contort into an odd stationary position starting a long burst groan for as long as I have air in my lungs and then I would stop, finishing with an exhale. I would do this a couple times. Sometimes I would stop it because I was being too loud grunting. I have roommates and didn’t want them to hear me.
When I am scared I enter into a fight state. So I began cursing the Jinn. Telling it you are going to bring me that much closer into going a Mosque. I further challenged it and called it a bitch. I kept saying Allah Akbar, I was saying whatever random Arabic words I can think of to try and piss it off. At one point, I said in English “God is Merciful” and I was in the middle of contorting, when I said it. I groaned out “Merciful” when I said it. It was my voice but I didn’t feel like I said the Merciful part.
When you do Ayahuasca, You can see these wicked vivid images. If you have ever seen Doctor Strange that is the closest representation I can give you but that move will never do it any justice. What you see is insane. When I got back from my Ayahuasca trip. I had some crazy dreams that I have NEVER experienced before and rich visuals right before I would fall asleep. Eventually they would slow down and stop after several months. The only thing remained after the Aya left my system was the visuals before I actually fell asleep. Months later, I could still see them but they were more faint. Sometimes a bit stronger if I went to bed at 2am.
In Islam they say you have assigned Angels. I called out to mine and asked for help. As I am cussing out the Jinn, laughing at it, calling it a pussy I start to see dark purpleish-blue flames expand and burst. I stopped, laid there with my eyes closed and watch one purpleish-blue flame after another expand, burst and then dissipate. The flames later remained just blue. I opened my eyes in shock and confusion and I still saw the flames with my eyes open, expand, burst and then disappear. I closed them again saw the same flames. Opened them again, flames came again and dissipated. I closed my eyes again to fall back asleep so I can go back to talking my shit to the Jinn. Again, this is how I am when I get scared. I’d rather deal with it. My eyes are closed, I am going through it again, the twisting, groaning etc. I see a bright light on my left peripheral. I opened my eyes thinking it was a car driving by my window and it was not, It was a visual like the flames just as rich but bright. I thought maybe it really was an Angel. Shortly after seeing that light. I didn’t feel much of the Jinn anymore, he appeared weaker to be honest when he did come as I tried to fall asleep. I started to feel more awake and eventually started getting ready for work. I even thought about praying but didn’t because I didn’t want to be late for work. At the time, I didn’t even know you are not suppose to pray during sunrise. Glad I didn’t.
That day at work. I listened to nothing but Jinn content. Ironically Islam describes the Jinn as a smokeless fire. Which explained the flame not sure why purpleish-blue to blue though.
I plan on listening to that 10 hour video again to see what happens. I am just not that eager to yet. Lol. That’s my story and I hope someone can help make sense of it for me.
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