18 (m) here
After years of my dad being horrible to my mum I finally snapped today and told him to stop telling her to be quiet. It didn't go well
He's often emotionally cold and distant but always has supported the family financially but he's pretty horrible to my mum often (cos of his mum whos a manipulative scheming woman) and gets rage at my siblings for the slightest thing. Then he'll be randomly nice the next day, maybe a week and if we're lucky a month then a whole new drama starts again
Just little things would set him off like today my brother poured him a full glass of water instead of his actual drink (coke or something idk) and he got angry but like disproportionately angry and so my Mum asked him in Urdu why he's so mad and then he started telling her to be quiet. Naturally hes done this for years, its not a new thing and normally I sort of keep quiet while this happens
But its been like 6 years now where I as the eldest child have had to deal with my Mum's emotional problems. I find her really sad some days, crying heavily others. My dad is always causing issues either with her or with me, like one time I said he misheard something which made him angry and he asked me if I am calling him a liar then shouted that I am ungrateful and told me to get out of the house. In Ramadan after my mum spent hours in the Kitchen making dinner while fasting, he refused to say thank you to her or compliment the food (this happens all the time) and when in private I said he should he said to me that he doesnt need to and why should he? Countless, I mean countless incidences and so as you can imagine I was pretty used to it
But today I have had a lot of exam stress and when I came down after Asr to find yet another super tense dinner brewing I snapped and told him to stop telling my mum to be quiet. Needless to say, he got up and told me get out of the house then shouted at me saying Im a dirty Kuffar etc etc I kept a straight face and ignored the comments and gave a brief apology before things got out of hand (not at all genuine tbh). I honestly thought he was about to get physical and the worst thing is I was ready to hit him back if he hit me. There's alot of pent up anger I have had over the recent years. His behaviour has screwed our whole family dynamic and there's horrible tension in the air often when he's home and so you can imagine how that affects someone over the years
Now I know hes going to blame my Mum and theres gonna be a crap ton of issues and the most important exams of my life start next week
There's just so much going on man, and I know your meant to respect your parents and I have. I always kept my cool with him and pretended like I loved him and made his tea and brought his sweets and talked with him about his business even though he made very little effort in my domestic life or anything.
He always supported us financially, paid for whatever we wanted more or less but thats about it. His emotional abuse disregards that and I cant appreciate it because hes basically never raised me, hes not involved in our lives at all and all the problems he's caused my mum can never give him respect in my eyes.
Idek what my question is. Just a rant I suppose.
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