I am a convert of 16 years and my family still doesn’t know I have converted. I am also from a culture where arranged marriage is a norm/expectations. Long story short, my family (parents primarily) are looking to get me married. And the girls they are interested in are mostly non-Muslim.
Now my dilemma is this. I have been single for basically my entire life and my prospects of finding a Muslim is near zero at this moment. Moreover, if I come out with my Muslim identity, I will be straight up disowned and cutoff from my parents. This will also hurt the prospect of my younger siblings of getting married within their communities etc (that’s just how things work in the culture I am from).
Part of selfish me has kept it secret and for the most part, following Islam hasn’t been a problem for me since I could just pray in my room or fast (pretending I am late at work) or give zakah and I know Allah swt is in my heart.
So now the options for me boils down to - coming out once and for all and quite likely face the blowback of being disowned and cut off from family (and societal shun, which I don't worry much for myself but the culture I am from passes some of the judgements to siblings as well). Or postpone marriage indefinitely but this isn’t any easy. My parents keep bringing marriage proposals. And to be honest, I do want a family of my own and especially children. I am 33 and not getting any younger.
I know marrying someone who quite possibly might be a mushrik is a clear NO for a Muslim. Quran says it clearly. I wonder if I pursue this in a way such that I can perhaps take that as an opportunity to convert another non-Muslim and withhold any relationship until then or talaq otherwise could that be an avenue I can explore. I am basically very frustrated at the prospect of me either losing my family or staying single forever and it’s just a depressing thought.
Thank you for reading. Jazakallahu khairan.
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