I [F20] was born and raised Muslim and moved to the Middle East when I was around 3 yrs old. I’m half white half Arab.
Growing up there, especially as a female, I was surrounded by a lot of judgement, harshness, and a very twisted view of Islam (of course I didn’t know this). A lot of men there would take certain Quranic texts and Hadith’s and manipulate the interpretation of the Hadith’s to their advantage— to make women inferior to men and nothing more than objects created to please them; no respect.
Polygyny was prevalent and I saw miserable marriages, unfair treatment towards wives, and a lot of maltreatment and abuse. I was very studious (I’m a nerd), and going to an all-girls school, ironically even some of the female teachers would tell us that we don’t need an education and we’re all destined to just marry and take care of our husbands full-time. Basically implying most of us won’t even make it to college and it’s not important. For those who had a passion for learning and wanted to excel in their education, we were put on the sidelines and our dreams and goals deemed a fantasy— a joke.
The mistreatment I received (and many other females) from men in particular, led me to resent Islam in my early teen years. There was no mercy, and if I made a mistake, instead of guiding me to learn the correct way, I received harsh treatment and judgement. I would always see men doing whatever they please (haram everywhere) and yet girls would be physically and verbally abused by family members and stuck in their homes— in the name of male family members “honour.”
At that point I told myself I’m just living in a toxic culture and need to find the Truth, whatever it may be. Most of the knowledge I had on Islam was twisted and manipulated, so on my search to the Truth, I guess you could say I was an agnostic. I studied Judaism, Christianity (including Catholicism), and Islam, from an unbiased POV.
Very quickly Judaism and Christianity didn’t make sense to me (I won’t go into the details of what since it’s irrelevant atm). As I was studying Islam it very quickly seemed foreign to me— not like the Islam I grew up in. One night, with the new (accurate) info I had on Islam, I decided to pray. Never before did I feel the connection to Allah swt when I was praying, since it only used to be a mere obligation for me.
That’s when I decided I need to learn as much as I possibly can about Islam, because it would be unfair to hate a religion based off of peoples actions; learning became an addiction. I read Quran and Hadiths with accurate interpretations, watched debates, lectures, etc. The more I learned, the more confident I became and the more I fell in love with Islam. The masjid in my neighborhood became my new favorite place and I would just go there and learn and learn and learn— it felt like a safe haven. I was around 16 at this point, and for the first time, felt like a real Muslim. I accepted Islam as the beautiful truth.
When I would receive mistreatment or manipulated info, I would respond with evidence to prove how wrong the behavior was. I quickly learned knowledge is the greatest weapon anyone can have.
For people who are born and raised Muslim, it’s so important to study Islam on your own from the Quran and sunnah. Acquiring accurate knowledge on your own is crucial for your growth as a Muslim.
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