Wow this is hard for me to write. This time last year my mentality was different. I was christian on the verge of reverting to the most beautiful religion in the world, but now I’m just cold to everything. This time last year I would watch and islamic preach every night, try to pray on time when I could, watch islamic shows, islamic youtube videos, talk to friends and family about islam, learn lots of islamic terms and phrases (which I most likely have forgot most). I’ve lost all of that, I’ve lost myself. I’ve been sinning again on the wrong path, I don’t know where to start again, and as wrong as it sounds it’s like i’m losing the love I once had for islam. I don’t care anymore I’m so numb to everything, I have a crippling addiction which most young men have which you can probably workout and I stopped whilst I was learning about islam but now im back doing it again. It’s like I don’t feel geniune love for anything in this world other than my mother but even on this topic I cannot talk to her about because she is christian. I hope one day the future me can get back ontrsck but I need guidance from you my brothers and sisters. Alhamdulillah for everything and thankyou for reading this JazakAllah.
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