Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh brothers and sisters. I hope you're all having a good day In Sha Allah.
I'll try and keep it short without getting too personal. For as long as I can remember, my father has been short tempered and often does and says things during his anger that severely impacts his career, life and family. On several occasions has he beat up my mother and even broke her finger, tried to strangle her multiple times.
However, that is all in the past now Alhamdulillah. With the passage of time, he has become wiser and he prays regularly and reminds me as well. We are trying our best to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah and all Islamic Shariah.
Though he has toned down the frequency of his anger and become more religious, he still argues with my mother about silly things to the point where I have spent nearly half of my childhood thinking of their divorce. He apologises afterwards and tries to make up for it but the damage has been done, and no matter how many promises he makes, however many times he apologises; it ALWAYS repeats. For nearly two decades of their marriage now, and it has been repeating and repeating and repeating, while me and my younger brother have been caught in between it. At least it used to happen everyday or every two days but now it happens every one or two weeks Alhamdulillah.
Due to this, I still cannot forgive my father. I love my mother and my father with all my heart and they are my entire world. I know the emphasis Allah puts on treating your parents well and always keeping them happy, and I genuinely believe I have been doing that. But my affection towards my father is slowly turning into grudge and hate, and I sometimes even feel that I might hit him, na'auzubillah.
Advice required immediately and as soon as possible. He is significantly older than me and he is my father after all so I respect him but I do not know how long I can keep up this facade. My mother is contemplating divorce and both my parents seem to be in agreeance but it just doesn't happen. I don't want them to get divorced either but frankly I feel that we'd all be better off that way.
Thank you for reading. Jazakallahu Khayran. Please provide any insight that may help.
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