I used to be Muslim for my whole life until some events happened that put me through some tough times. Those tough times caused me to misinterpret the words of the people around me and I thought all people in my life were hypocrites (pretending to be Muslim). While that temporarily strengthened my belief because I thought I had no one left but God, it still was one of the major reasons my belief declined. Now I know that my misinterpretations were false but the hit that my faith took still damages my belief today.
I don't dare to call myself an ex-Muslim but I don't really believe that much anymore. I have now seen the perspective of a non-Muslim and I started to question things about islam like why people leaving islam must be killed, why people should become Muslim in the first place and some more questions I can't remember.
I really miss being a firm believer because my faith brought me most purpose and joy in this world. I even thought that I had a real connection with Allah because I used to get goose bumps most of the time I talked to him. I know that that doesn't necessarily have to mean that it was his way of communicating with me but it did feel like it. Can someone please help me with this situation? Can someone also tell me WHY I or anyone should become a Muslim in the first place? What kind of proof or logically attractive argument does it have?
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