I was born a Muslim then lost my faith then reverted again Alhamduliah: Dua for our Ummah

I just wanted to share because there are a lot of people like me in our Ummah at any given stage that I went through.

What made the difference between saving my soul and being lost was simply good people.

Good people who never judged me in my weakest moments.

Good people who pushed me away out of love.

Good people who chose to see that I was worth saving.

Good people that Allah SWT sent to me and created.

We are all His creations. The good the bad the in-between.

These good people spent no more than 10 minutes with me in total out of 33 years of life.

And they gave me hope that I was not cast aside.

I simply had to put my soul first which means Allah SWT is first.

I have quite the life story. Basically I had 27 years of abuse and misery. In hindsight the misery was compounded because I held onto dunya with white knuckles.

I removed myself from my toxic environment (super hard) I prioritized my iman and swore to only marry a partner who would elevate it.

I prayed for him.

I cried a lot to Allah and I fully submitted myself to Him. After all why not? So many times I was willing to submit myself to death to end my pain.

Then the ease came.

I'm married to someone who took me on such a spiritual adventure that with every prayer I make dua for all of humanity to experience that love.

The love of Allah.

I'm still getting to know Islam even though I was born a Muslim.

I humbly ask that for those of you blessed with greater knowledge and a good support system and a good community to have patience and hope and faith in those Muslims who you know in your heart that they are good, but maybe misguided and in pain from the injustices they've faced.

I cannot count how many times I experienced cruelty and coldness at the hands of the Muslim community around me simply because I had no guidance or family.

It hurt me so deeply and it wasn't that I got lost, more like I was on hanging on a cliff begging for a hand and the community stomped on my hand.

I know kindness can be scary as it requires a degree of vulnerability.

Those sisters and brothers who showed me kindness as I tried to climb out of the pit I was shoved into had risked thier vulnerability in order to offer someone like me a flicker of hope.

I'm alive and full of love and hope because of this.

May Allah grant us all patience and courage to be people of integrity and to bless us with peace of mind and Jannat Al-Firdaus Amen.

Thank you for reading. Juma Mubarak!

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