I (F18) am in college right now in the US and my mom wants me to get married this December to my cousin in my country. Long story short, my mom has been through so much, her first marriage with my dad was horrible because he used to physically and financially abuse her and her current marriage with my step dad is going okay but he’s also really mentally abusive to us as well as financially too.
All of my family back home has been planning my marriage to this specific cousin, my moms sisters son, for a long long time. His family is really good and everything about this marriage would help my moms situation right now. Bringing him to the US and marrying him would Insure a really good future for me and my family, but especially my mom.
Going back to my country and visiting is really really expensive since we’re a family of 6 and since we were planning to go visit in December because that’s when I have a 1 month break from college anyways to see my grandfather, her and my family realized that it would be good to just get me married as well. She first told me about it a month before my 18th birthday and I was first against it, but thinking about my mom and how it would help her, I eventually ended up saying yes. After a couple of months goes by and I start college, I realize that this is not what I want and that I should put myself first because it is my life. So I call the engagement off. All of my family then starts calling me and stressing since I said no, my Mom has a really bad cough and since she was mad that I called it off, she didn’t call me for a week while I was in college. The cousin that I’m closest to tells me that since she’s been crying so much, she had to leave early from work, and eventually ended up going to the emergency room. They also tell me that every one back home is so disappointed and my grandfather doesn’t know I said no yet but he will literally have a heart attack and die if he hears that I said no. At this point I’m really stressed on top of being already stressed about college work and I impulsively text my family back home and tell them I will get married. After that my mom finally calls me but I don’t pick up because I feel so disappointed in myself.
Everyday I think about it and I’m so depressed because I truly do not want to get married but I feel like I will disappoint my family again. I want to Islamicly know if there’s any way during the Nikkah I can mentally say no so the marriage isn’t valid in Allah(SWT) eyes. Please let me know what you guys think I should do.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/3DkoU4r
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