Im writing here because i feel like i might have a heart attack given all that ive been through this past couple months. I hope this sort of stuff is accepted on this page. Im a muslim, though my family was never practicing we were just “muslims”. However, couple months ago i tore my ACL in my right knee and that really changed my life. I started praying and becoming a true believer(i never did haram things like drinking, smoking, etc regardless but i changed a lot). So ive been coping with that, but then sense a month ago ive had issues with my kidney. A lot of protein leakage and i have to do a bunch of tests and see what is wrong with my kidney in the midst of all my knee recovery which has been going less ideal as i would have liked. But really the absolute worst of my pains is my mother who has recently discovered she has a major heart problem. O friday doctors will conduct a final test to see which of her arteries are blocked. If its the main one they have to do an open heart surgery. I honestly cant handle all this shit at once anymore. Im only 19 and my grades have now been going down at a very renowned university which is quite difficult. And im scared i might lose my scholarship that is giving me a free ride all the way through. I dont know what ive done to deserve all of this, and I know there are people who go through it worst but it doesnt really make my pain any less. Only 4 months ago i was a happy teen playing soccer, and now my life is in shambles. My parents also are going through a divorce and i live with my mom and I’m incredibly attached to her emotionally. I just wish that if allah is going to take her away that he will take me away with her because I think that will be my breaking point.
Sorry for the long rant, I hope to hear some words of advice.
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