I am a 16 years old girl from Poland . I want to become a muslim. I started being interested in islam since I was 14. I was studying about the religion a lot. Now, day by day I feel more and more that i want to be a muslim. I feel it in my heart. I love islam and I believe that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad PBUH is the Messenger of Allah. I accepted it inside, in my heart. But the problem is that my family is catholic. And they would not accept me as a muslim, because they hate islam. If I told them that I want to be a muslim I'd have many problems and they wouldn't allow me to practise. My mom is strict... Sometimes... I just wanna stand in front of them and tell them about what I feel. But I can't. I want to pray and to wear a hijab and other things but I can't. I know I could wait till my 18, then I could become a muslim and they could not stop me. But I do not want to wait. Every night I cry because I am afraid of death. I am afraid of hell. I often can't sleep because of the thought. Also, lately, I have bad thoughts. It comes suddenly from nowhere. Usually at night. It says bad things often about islam. When the thoughts come, I cry. I can not stop the thoughts and those hurt me. But I know, that those are not my thoughts. When it starts, I feel weak and very bad. Before, the bad thoughts used to come just sometimes. But lately the thoughts come every day, every night. I hope someone will answer and tell me what to do. I am waiting of your replies...
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