I'm a young married man, in his 30s with three kids and a loving wife. Alhamdulillah I can't say that I haven't been given all the blessings.
A quick summary of my life, I was severely bullied as a child and had a messed up family/mother. She tortured me mentally a lot, but I still love her for the sake of Allah. I got kicked out of the family home twice, and I was homeless. Worked my way up and back on my feet.
Then I found a wonderful wife who took care of me. Whilst I was back on my feet, I was barely functional. After 25 years of being alone and deeply depressed and hurt, I was married. Alhamdulillah, all that pain and suffering was suddenly worth it. Fast forward, we are very happy. All praise is for Allah.
Recently, I had a baby daughter. She's the cutest thing ever. Literally makes my heart melt. I had no idea a baby daughter could change my perspective and life so much. It is true, they are angels. So you can imagine my burden...I feel so horrible.
I've been struggling very bad. My finances have taken a bad hit. I've never missed rent in my life. Jobless and hopeless, I'm being threatened with losing my State Benefits due to being unable to find work. So now things are about to get a whole lot worse. This continues for MONTHS. I barely scrape by each week.
I've spent the last 24 hours awake. I've reached rock bottom. My shoulders can no longer carry the burden of this world. My children are playing downstairs, and I head on up. I recline into my bed and just start sobbing. I feel completely broken. Even with the daily prayers and Dhikr, I have fallen. My heart has broken into a billion pieces.
I start sobbing uncontrollably. Men don't cry? I don't care. I'm just done. I've hit true rock bottom. Rent is due tomorrow. Zero money. I have a baby daughter and two boys to feed. What do I do? I go even deeper into depression. It gets worse by the minute. I stay silent as to not alert my supportive wife.
I give up. The 24 hours of exhaustion have caught up. I start falling asleep. My soul is defeated.
My heart begs for Allah's mercy. I beg, and I beg. No answer. Does Allah hate me? Most likely. I'm a terrible father, husband and slave of the One Lord.
Allah has forsaken me, it's hopeless to do dua. That was my final thought, waswasa from Shaytaan, obviously, but my heart's final message to Allah.
Moments later, I wake up. Weird. Why do I feel happy? I just went to sleep destroyed. I have nothing to be happy about. I check my phone...
The business deal I've been working on for 2.5 years is finally coming together. A massive amount of money has been transferred into my account. What, why? Its 9pm, and it's close of business 4 hours ago in the UK. What...on Earth? I thought I was dreaming. This is literally dream like stuff. How? What?
Confused, I read the email again. I check my bank. There it is. The money I need to sustain my daughter, my sons and my wife for another 6 months at least. Alhamdulillah. On top of that, I've just struck a massive deal which means I can finally take my wife out of poverty. My close family often joked that we are the poor ones, and they'd always make jabs at us. It really hurt.
In that fleeting moment, my heart begged Allah to let me provide. And it worked.
You know how we think Allah doesn't answer duas and he doesn't listen? Well, we're wrong. Alhamdulillah. Allah listens. The cries of a desperate father were heard. This dua wasn't about me, it was about my kids.
Allah is The Provider. The Nourisher, The Merciful. The All Hearing. The Sustainer. Never forget that.
Takbir!!!! That's all I have to say.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/3DybIsK
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