So I was casually talking to my mom and she knows that I’ve been talking to this girl who is not a Muslim but a Christian. We were previously together but now we’re just friends. Even though I am allowed to marry a Christian she never acknowledged that we were together. She would always ask me “so is she finally away from us?” Or “ did you finally stop talking to her?” Or there would be some event and she would say “go, look nice and see if you like anyone” completely disregarding that I’m interested in my then “partner” (I’m using partner as just a way of saying we used to talk and see each other here and there and we had feelings for each other.) we broke up for personal reasons.
The other day my mom again asks me if I’m still talking to her and I say yes we are as friends. She was like “ why would you still talk if there’s no potential” I was like there isn’t right now but who knows but we’re friends now. Then she proceeds to claim that if you love someone you will love them initially and as time passes love doesn’t really happen down the line.
As a person that’s met so many people where that hasn’t been true, as a psychology student, as an individual that’s been through it myself I know that that is simply just not true. She proceeds to tell me that I’m very argumentative and it’s the worst thing in the world to argue with me. That I am wrong and conversations with me are pointless. She keeps reiterating those 4 things throughout the argument. Even when I claimed I studied it in one of my classes she proceeds to be passive aggressive that I’m being condescending and she that I know more than anybody and what not. We ask my sister (who almost always on my moms side) and she actually agreed with my argument.
All my frustration came out. I told my mom “you kept saying oh I’m wrong oh I’m so stubborn but seems like I’m right”. She then gets defensive and goes like “everyone has their own opinion” What I was thinking at the time was WHY DIDNT YOU LEAVE ME WITH MY OPINION THEN.
She always has this passive aggressive tactic of telling me to things a certain way but if I want to do it my way she goes like “okay let’s see where that gets you”. She says that not actually hoping I succeed in it but moreso regretting I didn’t do what she says. She also keeps claiming that she has nothing to lose or gain if I fail or succeed.
She also said that it’s wrong to disagree with your parents. I pulled up a video from mufti menk saying you are allowed to disagree with your parents as long as it’s politelY and with respect. I admit that I might’ve come across as rude and impolite throughout the convo but she says that I can’t even show signs that I’m disagreeing with whatever she’s saying regardless of what it is. After she watches the mufti menk video she proceeds to claim he’s a nobody, uneducated and that I’m going nowhere listening to people like these.
I’ve apologized a few times now but she said she doesn’t want to talk to me for a period even she doesn’t know how long it’ll be.
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