I came home at 3:18 from school maybe and asr was 3:43. I went to the bathroom, did my business, waited 4 minutes, then did wudu which took me W while, which brought me to 3:40. I quickly began prayer for zuhr but today I had a kind of crying fit and nervous break down while in prayer because today I just didn’t have the breath to say the words and I kept repeating them (10 to 20 times for some words) in fear of accidentally changing the mean of al Fatiha and making my prayer invalid which causes the crying. At 4:07 I was at the beginning of my 3rd rakah and my mother saw me and said that it was okay and to go out of prayer and that she can be imam for qada zuhr so I don’t have to say too much. So I left the prayer intentionally hoping that she could be imam for my zuhr qada. It turns out that you can’t be praying in congregation for qada prayer. I have two questions: for hanafi view: does this make me a kaffir? (I read the Hadith about the separation of Muslim from disbeliever is based on prayer). And: for hanafi view, is it sunnah to pray zuhr and asr silently, if so, can I pray out loud for all prayer because it is more difficult for me while praying silently as I force air outside into a forced whisper?

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