Salaam.
I struggle with anorexia nervosa and fasting has been a struggle for me since I developed it. I feel a strange sense of satisfaction when I starve myself. A scholar years back recommended I do my fasts in the winter when the days are shorter. However, he was adamant that I am required to do them.
I'm not trying to weasel out of it; I love fasting when I am totally in contact of my diet. Ramadan is both my favorite and most emotional time of the year.
What has me confused is on days I'm weak and am trying to starve myself or consciously trying to severely limit my calorie intake.
I'm about to do one of the nights of Shawwal but I don't know if I'm allowed to, because I am having temptations to skip meals. Does this ruin the intention to fast?
FYI it is much easier living with my family, but I am planning to move out by the fall.
Jazakallah Khair.
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