Assalamu'allaikum everybody. This is the first time I (M16) ever get personal on here, so please bear with me.
For some context, I've been living with my mother and father since I was born, but they never had a good relationship, they sleep in different rooms and barely talk to each other. My mother was always the type of person to believe in conspiracies, like vaccines causing autism or the government is controlled by a satanic, children eating, Kabal.
As of the beginning of the pandemic, having nothing to do, my mother decided to scroll through Facebook to get herself more informed on the coronavirus, which was pretty recent at the time. (Very bad bad bad idea) She ended up in many pages in which they claimed that 5G is the cause of Covid-19 and how the whole pandemic was a plan and that the virus was man-made. (plus all of these bill gates shenanigans and microchips) It reached a climax around August 2020, as I had a mental breakdown in front of her and explaining to her how I felt. She tried to understand and "promised to do better", which as you may guess didn't happen.
As time progresses, I kept losing more and more affection towards my mother, as she spewed anti-lockdown propaganda at any given moment, no matter what the context was. Covid-19 was her main source of conversation. I became very distant with her and couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel... until the vaccine came out in novmeber of 2020.
Finally I was so hyped since we hoped to get back to normal life. But since november 2020, she became more and more violent, showing symptoms of being from the extreme right. (And mind you, yes we are muslim) I had a whole identity crisis, how can my mother be associated with racist extremists who believe that BLM is a terrorist organisation (she believed that at some point and I still think she does). It was a whole soup of imposter syndrome for me. And of course, since the vaccine cameout, new anti-vaxx propaganda started to spread (eg. the vaccines modifies your dna, makes you infertile, kills you, gives you coronavirus) It is also important to note that my mother is a doctorate student and always tries to use it as an argument for me to believe in the stories she believes in. (She also attended anti-lockdown rallies, with no mask ofc)
Now that vaccines become more accessible to people my age (i live in canada), I expressed my feeling of wanting to get it to my mother. She then goes and says how she would curse me (in the name of Allah) if I take the jab and, yet again, spewing more misinformation. She doesn't want me to "die" from the vaccine (my Dad took it and he's alive so like, I don't understand her point). She swears that she would leave me behind and that she'd be ready to abandon me if i take the vaccine (im her only child). In addition, suffering from asthma, corona could give a critical hit to my respiratory system and I don't want to sacrifice my health for some fanatic stories my mother believes in.
A year after the pandemic, I lost almost all love between my mother and I and I feel as if I'm acting my emotions. It's also hard to respect someone who has such radical views and also being violent about it. Allah has honored mothers and has ordered to the children to obey their mothers, but I don't know what to do here. If I obey her, my health could be at risk, and if I don't, I won't get to see my mother ever again. What should I do?
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