So I just recently finished a trip to a not-so-wealthy country, and after seeing how so many people live in poverty despite being happier than us Americans, I want to become a much better person and be grateful for what Allah (swt) has given me.
Over the last few months, I have become much more religious (Alhamdulillah) and all I need to do to become a "perfect" Muslim (fully acting upon the five pillars) is to stop cutting off my Salah and pray all prayers on time. I turned my haram relationship (Astaghfirullah) into a halal one with an official and proper nikkah marriage ceremony, despite my parents not approving of it (her parents accepted my asking of her hand for marriage); now I just need to figure out how to turn my haram income into a halal way of earning while I finish my studies in university. May my parents understand the good in my actions one day Inshallah.
My main income is doing other people's schoolwork and taking exams to help others cheat their way through their classes; I have earned so much haram income over the past year I am not too comfortable with mentioning the amount, and I'm unsure what to even do with the money but now I have to and want to become more humble and earn righteously even if it means I struggle and stress about making barely enough, not enough for groceries, not being able to afford rent (I live with roommates). We don't know when we will die and even the most pious aren't ready for death :(
I know that it is haram to not only accept the money, but to spend it as well. The issue is, it isn't just money that I want , I do need most of it to survive alone while studying. I am still waiting on a job application but there aren't much jobs available where I am now sadly, I will stay patient for as long as I need to.
I also had some bad luck spending this money in the past which I've never faced in my life, I am usually a very healthy person and I don't remember the last time I got sick but recently I have been poisoned with food I purchased with the haram cash. Now I am still using said haram cash to pay for the medication I need for the time being.
Please don't judge me and I know that what I have been doing is immoral so dua's are highly appreciated. May Allah (swt) reward you for your advice on what to do in the time being and duas!
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