Please bear with me; it has taken me a few days before I felt comfortable making a post here.
I was raised in a Christian family in the south. My family didn't tolerate any of us doubting our religion, and we were taught that anything outside of our beliefs was from the devil himself. Admittedly, I questioned our beliefs as some things didn't make sense to me; specifically, the ethnicity of Christ, communion, and the whole concept of the father, son, and holy spirit. I was taught there was one God, but I'm also supposed to worship Christ and the holy spirit.
As I grew older, I witnessed a lot of hypocrisy among family members and leadership in the church. Before I continue, I want to clarify that I am not here to bash or ridicule Christianity or those who believe in it. Fast-forward a few years, I joined the military, traveled the world, and was stationed in Bahrain for a few years. When I arrived, we were invited to take a cultural tour, and part of that tour took us to the Al Fateh Grand Mosque. During my time in the military, I became more open-minded to others' beliefs, and I was eager to visit this beautiful place of worship. While there, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility, and these feelings have left me curious, but my childhood beliefs and the fear that the Christian God would punish me from learning more about Islam steered me away. I lived in the area for a few years, and I met many kind people who believed in a religion I did not, this made an impact on me, but I never took the opportunity to explore Islam further than that.
Fast forward a few more years, I'm a civilian again, married, and going to school full time to get my BA. During this time, racial tension is at what seems an all-time high in the US; some of the stories I read about broke my heart and motivated me to learn more about the American civil rights movement. Full disclosure, I am a black man, and during my research of the civil rights movement, I was drawn to someone I had always admired but never knew much about. I purchased the autobiography of Malcolm X and read about his experience with Islam. While I am still a few chapters shy of finishing the book, my interest in Islam has been sparked once again. The reason being, throughout my years of following Christianity, I have never felt as committed as Malcolm did to Islam. I understand he is a controversial figure, but I admire what he stood for, especially the man he was after his pilgrimage to Mecca.
I am at a point in my life where I have the opportunity to follow a path that makes sense to me. I do not know if Islam is that path, but I do not want to live the rest of my life not asking questions or learning more about things out of fear of being punished. I'm not sure what I am asking for, but I would greatly appreciate some of this communities input and advice. If you took the time to read this, thank you and I hope to learn more from you all.
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