Seeking help after death of my mother
My mother passed away 2 months ago. Although she has been fighting cancer on and off for over 20 years, her death came as a shock because it wasn't cancer related, and she was relatively well (albeit fragile from the years of treatment). She stayed in the ICU for 10 days and then died.
In the first few weeks, I wasn't sad as much as I thought I would be, mainly because I watched tremendous amounts of videos about the afterlife and how as a muslim she is in a far better place now. I found solace in that.
However lately, am starting to become more saddened, anytime I find myself having fun I can only feel guilty that I am enjoying myself while my mother is dead, I think of her last hours before going to the ICU and how she must have suffered alone.
But my biggest issue is that I am now having doubts about the afterlife, islam etc that perhaps there is a chance we just die and that's it. Everytime I think of her I can only think of the possibility that maybe I will never see her again, and that thought is scary.
I still pray and make duaa for her everyday, i give saddaqah on her behalf, none of this will change. I just want to get rid of these thoughts.
Please help
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