The past few months have been really hard and Ive been obssessed about finding a job. It has been on my mind practically 24/7 and I obssessively refresh my emails in the hopes of interview requests. I have obviously reviewed my CV, countless times actually, but I feel like its a test from Allah swt. My last experience looks really strong on my resume, and yet I struggle more now, with this experience on my resume, than ever to find a good opportunity. It just doesnt make sense. Anyway, I also feel like Im sinning by obssessing over it and that its making me less likely to get a job because, even though I try to be grateful for what I have, Im just utterly depressed and cant appreciate any moment. I even struggle to concentrate in Salat because Im too anxious and my brain cant stop for one second to just obssess and overthink what I should do. Im seeing all my friends get jobs and I just feel utterly stuck and worthless. I havent made a lot of time for family either because I havent been in the mood for anything really. Is God mad at me for being too absorbed by the job process? How can I try to be less anxious, more calm and “appreciative” of what I have? I know God gives more when we are grateful and I feel like my ungratefulness is part of why Im still struggling more than ever to find a job
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