So I have a slight issue and I need to know if Im not seeing it right because of past experiences & having been a revert for coming up on 7 months, or if I am truely seeing red flags. I had a sister message me a few days after I had put on the niqab (due to safety concerns I decided to take it off & try wearing it again when it feels safer for me) and she offered to teach me about the Shariah. I accepted the offer. She urged me to buy gloves and gave me a good explanation as to why some niqabis wear them, alhumdulillah. After skyping with her the first time I felt a little strange about the whole thing, she encouraged me to gag myself so I wouldnt speak and to keep my face covered inside. The next day she asked me if I would obey her, and when I agreed she said we were now family and she would be my wali so I should ask her permission for everything. Some of it makes sense, like making sure Im dressed properly everyday and knowing where Im going, but some of it was sunnah acts that I know I would need a husbands permission for but not any other walis permission, like me fasting. In things that make sense she told me to switch my pajamas to be more feminine (I had planned to once the clothes I had couldnt be used anymore, thier old work tshirts so I cant really donate them), and to switch to satin as much as I could, and keep my hair covered when I sleep (she said so youre always covered, I know for some hair types theres also health benefits to it). But I found it quite odd that she would consistently question if I trusted her, I had only seen her in pictures and have only known her for a little over a week so Im cautious but Ill give it a shot. Just like getting to know anyone. She also wanted me to be in constant niqab. Khimar, abaya/jilbab, eye veil, niqab, gloves, all of it. Even when I was alone or only with mahrams and women. I couldnt find a sunnah about it, and had told her previously that I desire to emulate the wives of the Prophet(pbuh). I typically take Ayisha as a referance to how to achieve the best modesty. I asked her about it and she said the most pious of women only let thier husbands see them (the closest I could find was a woman who would completely cover whenever others visited her house). I would also let her know when I was in class and she would frequently message me to see if I was online to talk to herand would bring up that she wanted me messaging her so she would always be there with me. If I wasnt sleeping or at school she wanted me to be on video with her. When I brought up being excited to visit a mosque when Covids over she said I could only go for Qur'an memorization and that I should check all my knowledge with her. She brought up that I shouldnt look for any other Muslim friends because I have her and other Muslims may lead me astray. Im honestly very overwhelmed and my worry is that Ill end up loosing my life to please someone else again. Is this normal? If its not how do I kindly let her know that Im not okay with it? If it is how do I deal with it? In the end my goal is to please Allah(swt) and I dont want to anger him if shes better for me.
Edit: Ive decided to cut contact with her. I know she frequents online niqabi spaces so I also plan on gathering screenshots incase I see any other sisters in the same situation as me. Thank you to the people who commented! May Allah(swt) reward you, ameen.
[link] [comments]
from Islam https://ift.tt/3piHELJ
Post A Comment:
0 comments so far,add yours