Assalamu alaykum
Please don’t hate me. I was born in a non-practicing Muslim family and when I was 16 I began practicing. I’ve since gone through a lot of turmoil, having to endure being mocked by my family, feeling left out all the time, and also justifying my faith to myself constantly. Recently I’ve been feeling that Allah does not like me because of the sins I’ve committed and my general burnout I’m experiencing with my entire life. I hate everything all the time, I’m tired all the time, I feel distant all the time, and I feel trapped all the time.
This sounds like the perfect state for shaytan to influence me I guess. And you might explain it as that, but don’t tell me to just ignore my feelings because doing so hasn’t made anything better.
Recently, I’ve been strangely drawn toward Catholicism but it doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t see Jesus as God nor do I rationally or emotionally understand the trinity. However, there’s just something about it that’s making me interested.
Has anyone experienced anything similar before? Again I ask that you please don’t hate me for this, I’m legitimately reaching out here for help. I’m not even posting this in the Christianity sub because they’ll just make me doubt even more.
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