“Im not here to provoke anyone or offend anyone.” When i left islam i would use this line to try get muslims to talk to me so i could provoke and offend them. It was a lie. Thats as clearly as i can put it, if i was honest with what i wanted i would never get anyone to talk to me so i want to start off by explaining that line and why i think i lied and why i think most early ex-muslims also lie about it and i think it will help to the mindset in perspective.
To be clear I’m an ex-muslim, although i would prefer atheist because its the technical term i guess.
Something to understand about people who recently lost their faith is that its a very painful process (emotionally speaking of course) i was 15 at the time and i had so much of my identity tied to my faith but i also had a great part of me tied to my love of science. Now i know how cringey and cliche that statement is, its one many people make but underneath all that exaggeration,in some cases, there is a kernel of truth. I wanted to be a scientist, and in science if you get results that show your theory is wrong you’re going to have to accept some very hard to swallow pills. I had been active on this sub (different account) and had argued with many ex muslims and was on a separate app doing the same but time and time again i came to the same couple of points i could not refute. (i wont mention them i don’t want a debate i want to just convey my experiences which i think are common.)
My theory that the quran is perfect and that it didn’t contradict reality at all is wrong, the results of scientific research for the last couple hundred years proved my theory wrong. It was a hard pill to swallow and it hurt badly. I remember crying alone because of it, as i said my faith was so deeply rooted in my cultural,social and family identity and to see that it is contradictory to reality broke me. I don’t think many people would parade this around and neither did i, i internalized it and it kinda turned into rage and i tried to rationalize it. “Islam is the dumbest religion” “Religious people are idiots” “Atheism is the only answer” You’ve probably heard that from ex muslims, the only way i could explain that my feelings kinda turned into borderline islamophobia.
So the pieces are coming together, i use the line at the top to start fights online with muslims and it satisfied my ego. I’ve deleted a lot of stuff mostly out of sheet embarrassment of how much of a idiot i sounded like. I’ve been an ex-muslim for nearly 2yrs and since then i’ve gotten far more atheistic, but now its from a place of really wanting to know the truth which was the reason i decide to leave in the first place. Its taken a while for me to circle back but now I feel much more safe in my religious identity and feel like i can appreciate islam for the good it brings and the bad it can also.
The question you’re probably asking is “ who asked” and my answer is “nobody”. I just wanted to get this off my chest and to help you guys understand ex-muslims better and to get rid of the negative neckbeard ex-muslim stereotype.
Obligatory sorry for spelling i’m on mobile.
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