I have a question about Niyyat (Intention) and Sabr (Patience).

This is actually two separate questions, so please bear with me, my dear Iqhwan and Aqhwat.

1. Niyyat - Donation (sadaqat) is a highly required deed in Islam. You make your donation sincerely, without asking anything in return, because of Allah. Lately, I have been questioning my niyyat, sometimes, when I give sadaqat, I will say in my heart "May Allah Azza Wajalla free me from stress, hardship, feeling on inadequacy and May Allah open many sustenance doors for me because of this Sadaqat". Now, I wonder if I have different intention here, instead of the sake of Islam and Allah, I do my donation for worldly material? Not solely for the sake of Allah?

2. Sabr - This actually have to do with my depression, anxiety and extreme sadness. It says that your patience will be tested at the first strike of calamity. Sometimes, when I have an extreme moodswing, I'm thinking of suicide or a very intrusive thought this religion. I wonder if this isn't a Sabr in my heart. Or the time when I'm sad, I sometimes cry all night long. In this case, should I just patiently endure by not crying to show Sabr? Another thing, when small things doesn't go my way, mundane things, I will sigh and let out unpleasant noise out of annoyance, sometimes curse too. Is this what you call not having Sabr?

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from Islam https://ift.tt/3fyDNnl