How to fix feelings of anger towards mother?

As-salamu alaykum.

I posted yesterday about how I have no motivation to practice my religion much anymore. I am trying to fix this and inshAllah I will be able to go back to the way I was when I first converted.

A difficulty I am having outside of practicing religion is feelings of anger and resentment for my mother. First I'd like to start by saying, I love my mother. My father and his side of the family are not involved in my life, my mother was a single mother at 21 with 2 young children. She went to university for us, got a good job for us and finally found a good home for us. I appreciate and respect everything she's done.

I am a convert. I was a christian beforehand and started to learn about islam and decided that islam was the religion I wanted to follow. I was a bit nervous to tell my family this, because they're not shy on their racism and islamophobia. They're not religious. My mother said it's fine, but she doesn't want me to wear a hijab or 'letter box thing', and if I chose to wear those then she wouldn't want to be seen out in public with me. I took this as 'it's fine if you wear it, but I won't go out with you'.

I didn't wear the hijab for a while after I first came to Islam but have since chose to wear it. Well this has been creating issues. My mother's told me now she doesn't want me to wear it at all. She said people will target our home because I'm a muslim. I said if the area here is so bad that that might happen, maybe it's best to have cameras put in and we can report anything to the police. But she refuses to do this. This to me is her saying if someone physically or verbally attacks me, it's my fault for wearing the hijab. It's not their fault, it's expected for them to do this, it's my fault for not taking the hijab off. Then she told me she wants me to take it off because it would upset her if people said bad things to me. Well this confuses me, because the other options she gave was for me to take it off completely, which I do not want to do because I feel so comfortable wearing it and so this itself would upset me, or to be out on the street, and surely kicking your daughter out would be a bit upsetting when she had nowhere to go?

We've since compromised and I can wear a hat but she still twists her face about it and I honestly don't like the hat as much as I liked my hijab, and it's a nuisance having to change it when I meet friends or go for interviews.

I wear the hijab in the house when my mother's boyfriend is here and she's adamant I should take it off because I'm in home and because he's seen my hair already. She told me in islam, you should respect your mother and do as she say, and she's telling me to take if off so I should. I feel like I'm stuck with trying to respect my mother and trying to follow my religion and it's just built up feelings of resentment.

I've always felt like my brother is the favourite. He and my mother share the same views, politically and socially, whereas I don't. And it's other, petty things as well. She never seems to listen to me. I might say I don't like something, but my brother likes it, so she'll get it for me and say she thought I liked it and I'd have to say no, my brother likes it not me. I appreciate the fact she bought me something but she just doesn't listen to me and she never cares enough to even try to understand my view or opinion. She does try to help me financially and I love her for this and appreciate it so much. But I don't want money sometimes, I just want her support and for her to listen to me.

I love my mother and these feelings I have upset me, but I just feel so angry about her too. Whenever I have to go out in a hat and then change and then change again when I come back home, and the issues she has with me wearing the hijab when her boyfriend is here, it's making me feel like I'm isolated because I just try to avoid the situation now. I don't have a lot of friends, and they work or go to university, so there's not much I can do or anywhere I can go. I feel like when I move, I don't want to see her all that much. How can I fix these feelings?

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