When I had struggling imaan I changed my surname (Abdullah) to something random and meaningless on my birth certificate and passport. My first name is still a Muslim Arab name. Back then, I felt it would be easier to blend into the western society I was raised in, without a surname that would immediately associate with my Muslim identity.
I did not know the beautiful meaning of the surname and how wonderful it actually is, and a surname to take pride in.
I think back and realize perhaps I was embarrassed to have a Muslim identify back then, astaghfirullah.
Now, however I love my religion with my heart and want to practice it will full commitment and love, though I worry about the previous intentions of mine and the actual act of legally changing my surname.
I don’t want to anger or disappoint Allah.
I know of something about not forging lineage as that’s very haraam so is it advisable to change my surname back to my original one as soon as I can?
My dilemma is that it has been legally changed on my passport and birth certificate (which still shows the record of change so anyone can see the name change to trace me).
I’m trying to find an imam to help but thought to post this here to the wonderful wise community here. (Disclaimer: I am a female by the way if that adds context at all.)
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