Hi everyone, The last couple of weeks have been hard for me spiritually and are causing me so much stress to the point where I can’t sleep properly.
I find myself really turning towards become a atheist for a multitude of reasons. Firstly I’ve never felt connected to god (I’m turning 21 in a week). I haven’t prayed in years and always lie to my mother when she asks (which I feel super guilty about). I do however fast every year for some reason the idea of not fasting makes me feel like there’s something watching me not fast if I was to do that.
Anyway I digress, my central issue is the idea of confirming islam is right. I’ve been trying to slowly give my faith another go by watching some videos and trying to read Quran sporadically. I do want to also try to start praying again but it’s been so long that I’ve forgotten how to even pray. Even the sound of Quran I struggle to listen to and turn it off or ignore it straight away.
I basically just don’t know what to do. We live in a world where there’s thousands of religions, I’m supposed to just “believe” something is right? I don’t want to look at a religion to give me purpose I want it to actually BE my purpose. However I’m starting to think maybe all our existences are just purposeless. I also don’t comprehend the idea of the human soul living on?
I’m lost and don’t know what to do, if any of you have experienced something like this please let me know what you did/ how you combatted it. Thank you.
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