Salaam, I'm a 24F living at home. My father is physically, verbally, emotionally abusive. He has severe anger issues and is extremely controlling. We don't have a great relationship with him. I pray that Allah cures his anger and gives my family sabr. He is very controlling and wants to know every little thing we are doing. if we give an answer he doesn't like he goes into a raging fit and becomes very upset. He puts us down and berates us for hours and has made me cry so much and ruined my self esteem.
Is it haram to lie to him sometimes to prevent him from getting so angry? I know lying is haram but telling the truth makes him so angry and hurtful. Currently I'm pursuing another degree. I'm taking summer courses and not doing well due to my mental health and the constant pressure he puts on me. I might fail. He always asks about my progress in class, is it ok if I lie and say I'm doing well? If I tell him I'm struggling he will just yell/scream and say hurtful things to tear me down. I feel like giving up on school altogether when he treats me like that
Also is it haram to hide my life goals from him? Everytime I tell him about something I'm trying to accomplish he will nitpick and tell me exactly how to do it and then tear me apart if I fail or don't do it his way. It has made me give up on many goals. I want to honor him, to please Allah, but idk how to keep a good relationship with my father and be an honest person at the same time. I'm considering lying about everything and just saying what he wants to hear so I can protect my mental health. Any help is appreciated
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