Salam Aleykum.
Im writing this post to ask for advice, rulings, help whatever It is that can help me go through this.
As the title suggests, I suffer from Waswas (obsessive doubts) about pretty much everything related to religion. Whether it is the validity of my prayer because my mind always finds ways to instil doubts that cause some mild anxiety, or my ablution or ghusl. I sometimes take a lot of time in the shower because of my mind playing games with me.
I have a history of suffering with this since a couple years ago, Im really feeling bad typing this but because of this issue I sometimes struggle to keep praying. I reached a point where I get so much stress from trying to pray on a daily basis that I avoid praying Astarghfirullah.
Recently I've been able to start back to pray on a regular basis with some manageable distress and doubts, but Its been a few days that the anxiety and doubts came back strong. Im affraid that Im getting into a period where Im gonna feel anxious when I pray and therefore stop praying at all.
Now, For those of you who might tell me to see a therapist, know that I had a couple sessions with one and It helped a bit but unfortunately Im not in a position where I can afford the therapy sessions.
Sometimes I wonder If people are taking some matters too lightly or if Im the one who obsesses over everything and notice things...
I really dont know what to do, I already read most of the rulings regarding certainty, doubts, and all of that. But the issue is that even despite knowing this, I still suffer from the anxiety for example after I pray and ignore a doubt, the mild anxiety can go on for the rest of the day. Im really reaching rock bottom. On top of that, Im wasting a lot of water during wudu and ghusl, which is a bad thing.
Any help or ressource is welcome
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