Is having a girlfriend really a sin ? (Discussion)

Please, try to keep an open mind about this. First of all, I would like to recall that some of our current view of islam and tradition are way different that they were just 150 years ago. People back then used to get married many times in their lifetime. Sex was normal and people discussed it normally. Conservative Europe even tried to shame muslims by calling them "sex crazed". So nowadays when people discuss topics about religion especially sex, people usually avoided or get defensive very fast.

So Here is my point: How is it any different when a couple (bf/gf) that everyone knows about be forbidden while the only thing that differs them from a married one is a piece of papaer ? In the past, and at the ear of the profit, when people were getting married, the man would talk the woman and go out to the people and announce that "I take this woman" and that's it. There wasn't even a written contract or anything.

Now the whole point of forbading sex outside marriage was to protect the children, i.e. in case a child was concieved, everyone deserves to have a father and a mother instead of a single parent. Now there are all types of contraceptions and unless the couple decide that they want a child, it's safe to avoid this major point.

What really gets me is that in Islam allows that a man have premartial sex with his concubine (or a female I think?) without a need for marriage. Caliphs and many people used to have may be even tens of concubines. So how is it that it's ok with them but not with a gf ?!
The verse says that: (وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ*إِلَّا عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ)
While literally translates to: (literally, "their spouses or what their right hands possess")
"However both these surahs literal wording do not specifically use the term wife but instead the more general & both-gender including term spouse in the grammatically masculine plural (azwajihim)" Quoted. So how is it ok if it's someone you posses "what their right hands possess" but not with a free conseual woman.

submitted by /u/_Senjogahara_
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from Islam https://ift.tt/30xan5e