Anger is the root cause of many evils. It leads to hurting someone, breaking of ties and humiliation of the self.
Taken from the works of Ibn al-Jawzî, the book Tibb al-Ruhani, where he says,
Anger is placed in the nature of a human being so as to keep harm away from him and so that he can take revenge from the one who harms him. However, what is detested is excessive anger, as it disturbs one's soundness, makes one imbalanced and immoderate, such a person starts making wrong decisions which may even affect he who is angry more than the person he is angry at.
Anger is heat that spreads when something provokes one's anger, it makes the blood of desire boil to take revenge, and may even cause a fever. The main reason for anger is usually arrogance, for a person is never angry at anyone who is higher than him. That said, the cure for this is that the angry person changes his state; if he is talking he should be silent, if he is standing he should sit, and if he is sitting he should lie down, so that he may calm down. If he leaves the place immediately and leaves the one he is angry at, it would be better. He should also reflect on the excellence of repressing anger, for Allah has praised those who repress anger, He said,
Those who spend [in Allah's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers) [Quran 3:134]
And if he reflects on the fact that this might be happening to him because of a sin that he committed or that it is all predestined then the matter will become easier for him.
1) Hadith regarding Anger
There are many hadith that were narrated regarding anger.
Abu Hurayrah reported:
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه و سلم أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ: لَا تَغْضَبْ، فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا، قَالَ: لَا تَغْضَبْ
A man said to the Prophet ﷺ, “Counsel me,” so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not become angry.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhari]
Also, Abu Hurayrah reported:
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
The Messenger ﷺ said, The strong are not the best wrestlers. Verily, the strong are only those who control themselves when they are angry. [Sahih Bukhari]
Bukhari and Muslim also reported that Sulayman ibn Sard (radiyAllahu anhu) said:
I was sitting with the Prophet ﷺ and two men were cursing each other, the face of one of them was red and swollen (because of his anger). Thereafter the Prophet ﷺ said, “I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ – ‘I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.’ then all is anger will go away.”
Abu Dawud reported in his Sunan from Abu Dhar (radiyAllahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.”
Al-Khattabi said, "The one who is standing is ready to make any movement, to hurt anyone and the one who is sitting is less likely to do anything."
Abdullah ibn Abbas (radiyAllahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said, "If any one of you becomes angry, he should be quiet"
2) Excessive Anger
If an angry person does not become calm when his anger peaks, he may harm himself or the person he is angry at and he would certainly regret any actions he may take afterwards. Many people have killed, hurt, and broken bones for their children while they were angry and regretted what they did for the rest of their lives. Some actually harmed themselves; a man was very angry one time so he screamed, his blood expectorated instantly and he died at once. Another angry man punched someone due to his anger and his fingers broke, absolutely nothing happened to the one he punched.
3) The Excellence of Repressing Anger
When our righteous predecessors used to become angry, they would forgive, seeking the excellence of repressing anger. Some of them believed that they were angered because of their sins, and some believed that they were being tested, yet others believed that they were angered for other reasons such as spite.
It was mentioned in some of the previous revealed books of Allah, that Allah said:
"O son of Adam! Remember Me when you are angry, I will remember you when you sin so that I will not destroy you with those I destroy. If you were wronged, be content with My support for My support is better for you than your own victory for yourself"
Mawriq said, "I have never said a word, when angry that I have regretted, when I am calm"
And Ibn Awn was never angry. When a man would make him angry, he would say, "May Allah bless you!"
4) Being Composed Before Reprimanding
A person who is angry at another should not punish him while he is angry, that is if he deserves to be punished at all. He should rather wait until he calms down, so that his punishment is equal to the offence, not equal to the anger.
A man was brought to Umar ibn Abdul Aziz, who Umar was angry at. He told him, "If I was not angry at you, I would have beaten you." And then he let him go.
End of Quote. Taken from Tibb al-Ruhani by Ibn Jawzi [Discipling the Soul by Ibn Jawzi By Daar Us-Sunnah Publications]
Anger management tips from the Sunnah
O beautiful soul! May Allah have mercy upon me and you. Know that sabr (patience) is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every heart. Here are a few tips from the Sunnah on how to manage anger.
1 - Be mindful of Allah
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: He asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, “What will distance me from the anger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “Do not be angry.”
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 6597
2 - Seek refuge from Allah
Bukhari and Muslim also reported that Sulayman ibn Sard (radiyAllahu anhu) said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ – ‘I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.’ then all is anger will go away.”
3 - Make Dua to Allah
Umm Salamah reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, teach me a supplication with which I can pray for myself.” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Say: O Allah, forgive my sins, remove the anger in my heart, and protect me from the trials of misguidance.”
Source: al-Du’ā lil-Ṭabarānī 1340
4 - Know the rewards of patience
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever suppresses his rage while he is capable of unleashing it, then Allah will fill him with assurance and faith.” And the Prophet recited the verse, “They are those who suppress their rage and forgive people, for Allah loves those who do good.” (3:134)
Source: Tafsīr al-Ṭabarī 3:134
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever restricts his tongue, Allah will cover his faults. Whoever restrains his anger, Allah will restrain his punishment on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever apologizes to Allah, Allah Almighty will accept his apology.”
In another narration, the Prophet said, “Whoever controls his anger, Allah will restrain his punishment.”
Source: Shu’ab al-Imān 7818
5 - Change your position
Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said to us, “If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lie down.”
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4782
6 - Don't act whilst you are angry
Abu Bakrah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The judge should not issue a ruling between two people while he is angry.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1334
7 - The Most beloved to Allah benefit people
Ibn Umar reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The most beloved people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to people. The most beloved deed to Allah is to make a Muslim happy, or to remove one of his troubles, or to forgive his debt, or to feed his hunger. That I walk with a brother regarding a need is more beloved to me than that I seclude myself in this mosque in Medina for a month. Whoever swallows his anger, then Allah will conceal his faults. Whoever suppresses his rage, even though he could fulfill his anger if he wished, then Allah will secure his heart on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever walks with his brother regarding a need until he secures it for him, then Allah Almighty will make his footing firm across the bridge on the day when the footings are shaken.”
Source: al-Muʻjam al-Awsaṭ 6192
8 - Remember someone in a worse situation and how they responded
Ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was distributing charity when a man from the Ansar said, “By Allah, Muhammad did not intend to please Allah with this!” I came to the Prophet and told him about it, then anger could be seen on his face. The Prophet said, “Moses was hurt by more than this, yet he remained patient.”
In another narration, the Prophet said, “Who will be just if not Allah and his messenger?”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5712, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1062
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
9 - Know what the Salaf said:
Ibn Rajab reported: It was said to Ibn al-Mubarak, may Allah have mercy on him, “Summarise good character for us in a single sentence.” Ibn al-Mubarak said, “Leave aside anger.”
Ibn Rajab said, “The same explanation was offered by Imam Ahmad and Ishaq ibn Rahawayh, that good character is to leave aside anger.”
Source: Jāmi’ al-‘Ulūm wal-Ḥikam 1/363
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