Feel like a kaafir and pray for punishment and to go to hell due to having 25 fasts broken

I have 25 broken fasts this year. I appreciate if no one questions why. I just feel terrible and actually contemplating suicide as feeling the infinite pain is the least I can do to punish my self I know I can't do 1000 fasts so I request a lot of help and consoling

submitted by /u/ax_n_hax
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from Islam https://ift.tt/2AmaDZQ