A few weeks ago I have been engaged to a girl. My parents were looking for a girl for me to marry and I had been looking myself too. My parents found this girl, who is a niece of my aunt (who is married into our family). Her background is fine, our families obviously know each other, etc.
Rishta/Engagement
I went to their house with my parents in the first week of January. I hung out with her brothers and her uncle, while the women sat and talked at home. My mom asked me what I thought and I told her, so far I haven't seen anything to say no. Upon hearing this, everyone was happy, etc. etc. I barely even talked to the girl.
A month later (February) I am engaged. Everyone told me this is normal and kept moving things forward. I did feel uncomfortable at this time, because at this point I still haven't talked to her much. I've had a few talks through texting.
After this they pushed for nikah and I told everyone to slow down, because Nikah is a big deal. Our mosque requires us to also be married legally before they allow the imam to read the Nikah. At this point I am feeling very uncomfortable, not only because I barely know the girl, but also because everyone is pushing this on me so fast, which makes me question everything even more. From my experience, whenever someone is rushing something, they have something to hide or there is something wrong.
Doubts
I am naturally a cautious person. I like to think that I'm rational. I'm a thinker, a scientist at heart. I am currently doing my second bachelor's program at the university. I am two weeks away from turning 28 and I realize that I'm a little overdue for marriage by traditional standards. I most definitely want to find a suitable partner, but by no means am I desparate.
My doubts are starting to arise, because this girl (19, turning 20 this year) has turned out to be very uninteresting so far. Early on, it was exciting. But I guess, since it was all new, I was curious and wanted to get to know her.
She is the typical repressed Desi girl. Parents didn't allow her to go out anywhere basically. She does want to go out and see places after marriage, so that was good imo.
Besides her desires to travel and see the world (which I share). She has nothing to share with me that interests me. Her interests are make-up and clothes. She doesn't read any books, even though her parents said that she wants to teach or study English Literature. I asked her about English novels, but she hasn't read any classic that I mentioned. She doesn't watch any Western movies/series. She is not above average when it comes to intelligence, any skill or even looks.
Basically all our conversations happen because she feels like talking to me. We don't have any conversations that go deeper than what she did that day, which is basically sit at home and do chores.
I'm really not sure how to deal with this. I don't want to screw everything up. If I say no, it will cause a lot of damage to relationships in our family (between my mother and my aunt/uncle whose niece this is) and of course the fact that an engagement that has been broken. But if I don't say no, I'm afraid of being stuck in a much worse situation.
Please help
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