It's generally said in Islam that if you remind someone of your favours, it renders the good deed useless. Here are a few references -
"O you who believe! Do not render in vain your charity by reminders of your generosity or by injury.'' (Quran 2:264)
Abu Dharr narrates that the prophet (saw) said: There are three people to whom Allah will neither speak on the Day of Resurrection nor look at them nor purify them, and they will have a painful punishment' The Messenger of Allah (Saw) repeated it three times. Abu Dharr said: They are ruined. Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?' He (saw) said: One who lets down his lower garments (below his ankels) out of arrogance, one who boasts of his favours done to another; and who sells his goods by taking a false oath. (Sahih Muslim)
However, there's so many times when people act like you've done nothing for them and act ungrateful. When I remind them of what I did for them, they bring up this fact that you're not supposed to recall what favours you've done them (there's a direct Urdu word for this, called 'jataana'). Is it allowed in this condition? The intention is not to blackmail them but to defend yourself from their accusations and put things in perspective for them.
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