How do I become sincere in worship?

Salam,

I feel like I am not being sincere in my worship of Allah.

How do I change that?

I am praying, reading books, and I am also trying to stop listening to music as well to get closer to him. I haven't listened to music in a while like 3 weeks now and inshallah I will stop permanently.

I have been praying regularly for a couple of months now and I am so disappointed and disheartened by myself. I sometimes can't do all five and I try to aim for it but most days it's 3 to 4. Which isn't good at all. Than I have days where I won't pray.Some days I can't pray fajr due to my schedule or another prayer because of it. It's terrible.

I have my regular duas that I recite after every prayer and my supplications. I still feel no different and the same.

I literally feel like ripping my skin off, I'm so tired of how it's making me feel. I feel like a failure. It's torturous and I don't feel like I am doing enough.

But when I do something I feel absolutely nothing.

I'm reading books to revive my heart and spirituality.

But I worry I am not sincere and my heart isn't in the right place.

Allah knows me better than myself.

I feel like I am worshipping for the wrong reasons as I ask Allah to alleviate my problems, become someone he is pleased with, and guide me to him - does that count as me or being sincere? I ask for things from him as well. I am working on being a better Muslim and person. I'm not only asking - but I am putting in work as well.

I question myself and my sincerity.

I just feel so fake and like an impostor. I don't know how to rid myself of this feeling - it's almost doubt in a way.

Please help. Am I overthinking? I don't know anymore.

submitted by /u/eatabowlofpoop
[link] [comments]

from Islam https://ift.tt/2vg330j