السلام عليكم!
A brother has been struggling with more than ten years of pornography addiction ever since he first hit puberty, and apparently has gone as far as participating in illicit video chats. He has even had physical contact limited to hugging and kissing girls (not on the lips), but he was able to bring an end to that when he realized how serious of a matter it is in our Deen. Going back to the porn issue, he now realizes that he can't beat this on his own and is making the intention of making an appointment with therapists.
He says his problem isn't forgiveness because he has full faith in Allah's Love and Mercy; rather, his problem is that he's worried he's destroyed his own ability to enjoy a real relationship with another human being. He's completely heart-broken that the only way he has been able to fulfill his desires is through something that displeases Allah, and even then it wasn't with a girl. He wishes that he could forget what he's seen and done, but there's obviously no way. He doesn't know how to move past the fact that his first intimate experiences weren't with another person.
He knows that for most virgins, the first night is awkward because they have zero experiences, but he wants that. He wants to discover these things with someone else, but now that he's seen what he's seen and done what he's done, he doesn't know how he's going to be able to marvel at his wife. He believes that first moment is special even if it's awkward. He's also worried why anyone would ever marry him if she knew what he did, yet she herself stayed pure.
I apologize for the long essay, but he wanted me to ask here on his behalf because the anonymity would reduce the possibility of anyone finding out about him. He already knows where to go for therapy and scholarly advice, but in the meantime he's looking for any reassurance from people in the community, and especially wants sisters' perspectives.
Tldr: Brother struggled with porn addiction for over a decade since he first hit puberty, and is about to make an appointment to meet with counselors and scholars to heal. His problem is being impure due to his experiences, not being sinful because he knows that with repentance he has already been Forgiven by Allah SWT. In the meantime, he asked me to post on his behalf to see what others (especially single sisters who haven't been married yet)
وعليكم السلام!
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