I wanted to get an opinion on some very serious issues I am having with my parents and family in general and what the implications would be from an Islamic perspective.
My parents have been going through a very difficult patch in their relationship and it has become so toxic that it's affecting everybody around them. Without going into excessive detail, they have always had their ups and downs with arguments but my father has always had a very serious anger problem. It has gotten much worse with age.
Recently my father accused my mother of having an affair with a relative. He gave no proof or explanation but was adamant that he knew it was true. He didn't leave her or divorce her but anyone may understand that this is not the kind of accusation that can just go away because you ignore it. For my part, me and my siblings tried to maintain peace and we got the feeling that things would be ok but they weren't. He continued to be aggressive towards her and bring it up again and continues to threaten to leave her and is "waiting for the right time". He is prone to outbursts.
More recently i called to talk to my mother and Something g completely random set him off and he started screaming at her on the back. I could feel that my mother was scared and nervous and she hung up the phone. This was a bit of a tipping point for me, i don't want my mother to be treated like that, he has already crossed a boundary with his completely unreasonable accusation. It has also resulted in a complete breakdown of my my relationship with him. He knows i heard him talk to her like that and he has refused to talk to me since then and i with him. We are not on speaking terms.
I want to talk to my mother and ask her to come live with me now, because he literally treats her like a slave and i cannot stand it anymore. If I do this, am i stepping out of line for Something that should be a husband/wife matter. What are my options islamically. I also want to mention that this whole ordeal has been so toxic that it has completely torn our family apart. We are not on speaking terms with any of our relatives now. I have my own kids and wife and i feel i need to cut my father out of my life to not let this affect my own family, which I feel it will.
I don't know what to do. I want to mention there are other problems with my parents as well that many people go through (overbearing, controlling, very critical of our life etc) but that i could deal with one way or another. But because of everything and now this, i kind of realized the other day that I don't really "care" about my father. It makes me feel really guilty but honestly that's just how I feel. Our whole life everyone has bent over backwards for him to make sure he is happy and he is never happy and now he is ruining our whole family.
I really don't know what to do. I am the older son and i feel like i need to step in and do something but I'm also worried about making things worse.
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