For so long, I've been struggling with my deen. I have always been mindful of what is halal and what is haraam, and I never used commit so many sins. But lately, I have been noticing that I have been sinning so much. It's also been more and more prevalent recently due to seeing some friends make some extremely terrible decisions and suffer the consequences for it in their life.
I really want to try to be a better Muslim, but it is so hard trying to live in America without conforming to what other people in society are doing. And this isn't a pity show or a sympathy show - it is hard but that is the nature of the struggle. It's just how we balance the struggle with the deen, and clearly I haven't done so.
My prayers have been lacking for a long time now - I used to be okay at coming back to them but I haven't prayed in so long. I do dua'a from time to time, especially in hard times, but the mandatory prayers, no. I also have sinned a lot most recently, doing haraam acts with girls. I really want to change and I want to succeed in life. I just graduated college and am currently studying for the MCAT, and even that is a struggle every day. I plan on applying to medical school as well, and I need the spiritual guidance, as well as the spiritual health to continue this path. Making loser decisions like fooling around with girls and other useless temporary things aren't going to get me anywhere. I need help.
May Allah guide us. Please share any ways that help you strength your imaan and help start your day and keep in the remembrance of Allah.
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