Heavily doubting Islam. Please help me clear up doubts

Salaam everyone.

I’m a sister, for clarity.

I’m hoping to get some answers here. I’m a convert since 2014. Can you help clear some things up for me? I might not be able to respond to everyone’s comments (busy single momma), but I will for sure be able to read them. I might message a few of you to get further clarity on other issues I might forget to include here. Here we go...

1. Can anyone explain the story of Umm Qirfa? Is this real? Was she actually tied to a camel and split in half? Please provide a source as to whether this is true or not true.

2. There’s been an article circulating that prophet Muhammad’s wives were not truly destitute widows. I can provide that if you don’t already know what I mean. Also, is it true that he was going to divorce Sawda because she was old? Please tell me that’s not true. I’m so bothered by this.

3. Why would prophet Muhammad order his wives to not remarry again in this life, especially Aisha? Is it because he wanted to be with them in jannah? If there’s truly no jealousy or anything like this in jannah, why would it matter?

4. A lot of the Hadith I’ve read (sahih) talk about matters that don’t seem applicable to the 21st century, like how the sex of a child is determined. Science tells us XX is a female and XY is a male. How can it be said sex is determined by whoever orgasms first? I really struggle with not just this Hadith, but so many more.

5. Concubines. Can anyone provide a source for me that says sex had to be consensual in order for it to happen? I was reading somewhere earlier that sex with concubines was not based on consent, and the woman didn’t have a choice. Also, why? Just why? Why were they allowed? Why couldn’t a wife (or the four allowed) be enough?

These are some of my issues. I almost don’t want to post here because of being attacked for asking questions. I don’t know where else to go and I’m currently not attending any kind of masjid. I wanted to reach out here in case there’s some sources I missed and I’m completely not understanding some things here. I converted to Islam because at the time I believed it to be the truth. I thought I loved the community too, but I’ve distanced myself from it completely the last few years. I feel like a perpetual outsider being a white American. I have too many doubts and not enough peace in my heart about it.

submitted by /u/loveiscoffee
[link] [comments]

from Islam https://ift.tt/33byeWT