Father is demanding money from my mother, and my mother won’t budge. Is she right?

Salaam

My father is not good with money. He is behind on mortgage payments and credit card bills. For years, he made my mother deposit her paychecks into his bank account. He’s done things like buy a motorcycle and countless other pointless toys. My mother ended up opening her own bank account to keep her money separate. She already helps with many household payments, including food. Now my father is demanding that she give him $450 a month so he can make payments. She instead offered to take on more bills, which he refused, demanding a flat sum payment.

My mother refuses to do so. When my father approached me on this subject, I told him that he can’t demand money from her— it belongs to her and what she does with it is her choice. I was not loud or disrespectful. He got very angry with me and refuses to speak to me.

I’m lost and confused. Who’s right here? What do I do? I’m a grad student and cannot afford my own day to day so there’s no way I can help. When I was better off I lent him hundreds of dollars without repayment. He thinks I’m being unfair and biased by siding with my mother, but putting myself in her shoes I can’t imagine my husband demanding a flat fee from me like I’m paying rent. She is willing to pay bills but not to let him take money where he might do whatever he wants with it.

Please help.

submitted by /u/lyannas
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