As-Salamu Alaikum brothers and sisters..
I'd like to start by providing you all with a backstory as well as a little bit about myself. I'm the youngest of 5 siblings and I was raised in a Muslim household by my father and mother. They divorced when I was about 10 years old and I now live with my mother. My father hasn't spoken to me or my other siblings in years due to him wanting to move on and forget about the past... I've been forced to accept that and continue on with my life.
For the past 5 years or so, I've been living a self destructive lifestyle that consists of making very poor and/ or risky choices. This has led me to be depressed and my self esteem is non-existent. I'm tired of hating myself and I just want to seek forgiveness from Allah for everything bad I've done... I want desperately to be a better person and not continue down this wrong path.
So as you've read in the title of this post, I've never prayed a day in my life. My other siblings were either taught how to or they taught themselves. I've tried to teach myself before but I felt like it was so much information to take in and I would give up out of frustration. But I know I need to learn now. I've had 2 dreams of the last day (Qiyamah) this week alone and I'm scared of what's to come for me if I don't repent to Allah.
So my question to all of you is, where should I begin? I don't want to get frustrated and give up on this again. I don't know Arabic so I guess that's the toughest part for me besides the fact that literally everything about learning this is confusing to me.
Is there anything I can do in the meantime while I'm still learning to pray to seek forgiveness and ask Allah for help?
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and any words of encouragement and advice are appreciated. Please make Dua for me; for Allah to forgive me for my sins and help me overcome this difficult time in my life. I love you all thank you.
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from Islam https://ift.tt/2ODHNri
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