I am 23 years old. I do not enjoy living with my parents at all. I go to school, and it's quite stressful with them.
I can be tired, and my mom will tell me "are you okay, you look like you lost the will to live." This makes me furious. Like that is extremely rude and I would never say that to anyone.
They constantly ask me if I have a GF even though its haram, and this enrages me. They are literally playing with something that drives me crazy. Because I this i have gone on 2 dates with women in the past week, one on tuesday one on wednesday, have gotten multiple phone numbers, etc. I ended up buying condoms but inshaAllah I throw them out before I use them This infuriates me and actually makes me want to go out and find a christian/hindu/athiest GF just so that I can be like "well here I got what you wanted" even though they would be furious. Like they think their jokes are funny, but they are not. They seriously drive a fire inside of me that just wants to be the worst person that I can possibly be, like its a hate so strong that I just cannot even begin to describe it. I don't masturbate or watch porn, I have an EXTREMELY strong desire for sex, and they just make fun of it with jokes. Honestly I'm furious just writing this.
They constantly talk crap about me. They do it loud so that I can hear it too. For example, if I don't feel like talking, because of all of the things that I wrote up there ^ plus more, they will say that something is wrong with me, im not normal, etc. Like I just want peace and quiet, so that I can study and do my thing.
I can tell my mother something a million times, but she will do it anyways and act like I didn't tell her before.
I feel like I don't get any respect. And it's just a cycle. Like they will maybe stop one week then do it again the next week. It's just utter humiliation. But if I was to move out I know they will do whatever they can to keep me at home. Honestly I'm fed up and just want to be on my own. I'm completely tired of this.
Not everything is bad, alhamdullilah I am so truly blessed to have the parents that I have. I feel as bad as I did with my other thread "Why did Allah forbid zina" because its just so ungrateful of me. But it just feels like its my time to leave honestly.
Am I going to be sinning if I leave them even if they say for me to stay? I just honestly can't take it anymore. I wouldn't be going to far, I would be able to visit them, and serve them when they need me, but I just honestly do not want to be in the same house as them anymore.
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