I'm almost 30 and have been the most inconsistent Muslim ever. I've done all sorts of sins. I don't want to reveal them but since you don't know me I guess I'll do it anyways. I've used interest, have fornicated plenty of times, watched indecent videos, used much foul language, talked to people I shouldn't be talking to, cheated people, etc. I've skipped hundreds if not thousands of salahs due to inconsistency. I have missed many Ramadans and have only completed one successfully in my entire life. I have evil thoughts about Allah and the religion. I don't really treat my family great and am in a state where I just do things without thinking about my afterlife situation, as if I'll live forever. In the last few days, I've heard people talk about strokes, heart attacks, bad injuries, and death and it's got me thinking that 99.9% of the things I choose to spend my time on are a waste. If I don't take things seriously now I'm afraid I'll never change. Sadly, I've had this desire to change before which only lasted a few weeks at the most before I was back to my old self. I need your guidance as to what the best decision to make is going forward and to determine how I'm going to maintain consistency in Allah's religion.
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