I have studied Islam for years now. Reading the Quran, learning the history, etc. I have even talked with an Imam at my local Masjid about conversion. Additionally, I am a pretty extreme person, I tend to go either all in or not at all, I should mention i’m atheist but was raised Christian.
I admire Islam and Muslims for the values, the strength, comradery and love. But some things are keeping me from taking the leap. As previously mentioned I’m an all or nothing kind of guy and if im going to convert I don’t want to just be muslim in name only. It would be easy to say the Shahada and call it a day. But i have an atheist Girlfriend of 4 years who i live with. I have explored the possibility of us both converting but she just isn’t in love with it like I am. I also work outdoors in construction and I don’t know when/how I would find time to pray. My parents also are pretty hardcore Christians and think badly of Islam. Ive tried talking with them but they just throw out things like “muslims are terrorists” or “they wouldn’t want you there anyways, youre black. Better to stick to our own people.” I don’t want to lose my girlfriend, my job, or my family. I lack the strength to abandon these comforts, what should I do. Im so lost with this, its been eating me up for the past year. Every time i come to this sub i feel tremendous sadness that I myself can’t call myself Muslim.
Any suggestions?
TL;DR I want to convert but due to my all or nothing nature I hold myself back because i have an atheist GF, my parents hate islam, and its hard to find time to pray at work.
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