I am completely exhausted

Salam aleykum brothers and sisters.

I don't know if someone remembers my other posts, but it all started with that https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/9eptfh/explaining_a_brother_that_zina_is_haram/, then that https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/ahyjcr/i_need_help_with_my_situation_brothers_parents/ and lastly it was that: https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/aol72a/i_just_need_help_i_think/.

I can confidently say that I (or rather, "we all") are at a new low. I am feeling an exhaustion that I never felet before and my thoughts went from 50% negative all day to 70% negative. I don't think that I am healthy anymore.

To vent a bit and think about everything again: Me and my family live in Europe since about 18 years. My father is here since more than 30 years, me, my siblings (twin brother and younger brother) and my mother came here about 18 years ago. Me and my twin brother are 21, our younger brother is 5 years younger. We are all from an Muslim country in Africa.

My parents did the mistake that they raise us as if we are in their home country, not in Europe. So we didn't attend any Islamic classes or Arabic classes and just went to normal European schools, also we didn't have Arab TV at home and we only flew to see our relatives about 3 times in these 18 years. All this is crashing on us now since a few months. My twin brother, despite having read the Quran in Ramadan and praying his prayers, is in a haram relationship since nearly 5 months now. He is doing bad at his last year at school and all he is doing is being on his phone in his free time (besides the bit of studying he does for school which apparently isn't enough). My younger brother is doing the same. Doing bad at school and watching youtube videos or being on his phone all the time. When all of this started and I saw this pattern (about 5 years ago), I warned my parents multiple times that this is going to end very very bad, but they said that I also played video games and so on in my free time so this will get better eventually. Well, it didn't as I expected ...

What is happening now is that my twin brother doesn't talk about anything, and goes to see his girlfriend every single damn weekend, sometimes even staying ther over night. My mind is exploding, and my parents are saying that we have to solve this in a relaxed manner, but in my opinion, they are making too small of an effort. My father is mentally ill because of all what is happening (another things are going bad too, which you can read about in my other posts if you want, may Allah reward you for that), thus, he isn't working since a few months. My mother seems to be overwhelmed by everything, and because she isn't tech savvy, she really doesn't know how our generation thinks and acts, making her not knowing how to make anything better.

Myself: Allah blessed me with being different than the other same aged people I guess. I never followed any of the new fades (social media, brand clothing, having girlfriends, going to partys etc. etc.). But my weakness is that I am very emotional. I can't stand seeing my brother lie to my parents, or him not taking responsibility for anything. I am literally doing my stuff (university, studying, working part-time) + all the formal stuff that my father could be doing (may Allah grant him health and energy) + the things my mother needs help with (may Allah reward her for her effort in everything). All my brother has to do is to look after himself, finish his school and atleast try to be a good muslim (because my parents, despite the mistakes they made, still are good Muslim and were raised well, they were just a bit too spoiled I guess). And in both things he is failing and acting like having a gf is normal and that he isn't doing anything bad.

I really don't know what to do or what to say or even what to think anymore. I am exhausted. Really really exhausted. Never would I have thought that I can become like that. I didn't workout in months, I am unconcentrated in my work, I am tired, even my eyes look dead. I'm tearing up again.

Please, any help would be appreciated. Really anything that could help me I will take. I can't continue living in this chaos anymore, I won't fucntion properly if it continues like that.

Jazakallah khair to all who read this. May Allah help us in every situation and keep us close to our Deen.

submitted by /u/CasualAustrian
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