As-salaamu Alaykum,
Verily, Allah, swt, is the best of planners. I am certain that, when Allah takes something from me, it is for my benefit and he will give me something greater back. I am certain that, after this hardship, there will be ease. I submit to Allah and trust Him completely.
But why does it still sadden me that I lost this precious thing, even though I know that things will be alright in the future? Why does Allah not grant me Sabr? I feel like I'm maybe disrespecting my Lord, because I'm not able to forget what has happened in the past while I know the future is bright.
Even though my Imaan has become stronger in this difficult time, I've started to question whether Allah is pleased with me or not. Allah never tested me for this long. Maybe it's a punishment and not a test.
It is like you're waiting for the bus in very cold weather. You are almost certain that the bus will arrive and you'll sit in a warm bus. But until that time comes, you'll have to suffer the coldness and there's nothing you can do about it.
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